How to be an ultimate ass kisser

I have read a part of this in faiz blog…

What interrogate me to blog on this matter? Or maybe I have found one or maybe some? Biarlah rahsia….hi hi hi…

Based on my own experience, my & others peep observation, etc, etc, blab la bla this type of people is everywhere, dari peniaga ikan dah sayur hinggalah ke agensi2 private mahupun swasta.. Even for the self employed, you need to kiss your customers’ butts; otherwise, they will go elsewhere and you’ll be stuck without a paycheck...

Kissing ass has gotten a bad rap because so many people are bad at it. They’re like amateur magicians that the crowd boos because their tricks are obvious. There is a few step to sharpen this skills….Dare to try? This one way of doing it..i got it from the internet..

Step 1
Mark your target. There's no point in being a kiss ass to everybody. Being the ultimate kiss ass is about marking the target or person in your life who you need to get something from. Usually this is your boss or someone who stands in the way of you getting what you want. If they can tell you "no" for something that's important in your life, then their ass needs to be kissed!

Step 2
Learn your target. Once you've marked your target, now it's time to learn everything you can about them. What do they like? What turns them on? What turns them off? This step also isn't as broad as wondering whether they like golf. It's more about how they react in the course of a conversation. Play close attention to what they respond to. Some tycoons want to be challenged, while some secretaries of tycoons want to be complimented because of their stature on the totem pole. Again this is a delicate dance, a trial and error process which you'll need to apply in order to learn what your "mark" responds to.

Step 3
Determine what you want. This can be a short term goal, like a raise, or a long term goal, like to eventually take over regional operations. Either way you must have a goal in mind. There's nothing worse than someone who relentlessly kisses ass when there's no specific goal in mind.

Step 4
Apply your technique. Now that you've marked your target and studied them you are ready to be the ultimate kiss ass, so pucker up. Use your full bag of tricks. Being one step ahead of someone is a great way of kissing ass without them ever catching on. Rather than being transparent, they'll just perceive you as helpful. Compliments also work well. Also, if your boss loves a specific sports team, or loves the local ballet, just happen to have a pair of tickets for that event which you can't use. Slowly but surely integrate yourself into their life until you move from "included" to "integral."


Some people said, if you work hard, perform well and wait till your turn (as a senior) to sit on the TOP rank…Well guys, it is a fallacy with current situation.. But again, it is you own choice.. If you want to go on a fast track, you shall practice for the above…or you can choose the old way, work with full of intergrity and WAIT, mungkin akan tercapai, mungkin juga jadi angan2 mak jenin… There is opinions this is a very special soft skill that everybody SHOULD have..Is it so? If you are not gifted better don’t!! Or it will create chaos!! Hahaha…


I dont think those step is a must have in me as i never dream of being a CEO/MD...Saya sangat tak bercita-cita hokey? But when my boss asked what will i become in another 10 years during assessment, my answer is CEO!! BLUFF!! Berdrama la kamu ANis...Ha ha ha... But i have a promise to be fulfilled, my ambition when i was a 4 years old kid, who had promise to buy a nice brand new MERCEDES for my DAD!!! Sangat mulia cita2 ini budak... Hi hi hi...Mungkinkah tercapai?